Left Off “The List” – Again


Sometimes, I think it’s easy to lose sight of the fact that the image that greets us to a new day in the morning mirror and likely is the last one we see before we tuck ourselves into bed each night is a LIVING, BREATHING, HUMAN BEING – a person with feelings that can be hurt; a heart that can be broken; an ego, however small, that, from time to time, could use a little self-stroking; a mind as capable of self-affirmation as it is of self-distortion and self-defamation; needs (for dignity, self-respect and self-fulfillment) that deserve to be attended to; longings (for love, affection, acceptance and a sense of belonging); insecurities; and a soul that, often despite its paradoxical inability to fully receive them, thirsts for warm embraces.  It’s also “someone” who is entitled to and, likely, desperately in need of a little slack now and then – for pimples, wrinkles and/or puffy eyes that, through no “fault” of “its” own, inexplicably surface overnight, often at the most inopportune times; for mis-steps and mistakes that are almost inevitable, despite the best of efforts and intentions; for shortcomings, “blemishes” (of all types and tones), impurities (of thought and action) and imperfections that are, well, simply part of what it is to be a human being.

I came to these realizations last night, as I struggled, for the 30th consecutive time, to come to grips with the fact that someone, in this instance Adam Levine, had beaten me out for People’s “Sexiest Man Alive!” Initially, I was able to rationalize the editors’ misguided decision by blaming it on my age, the fact that Levine’s simply able to afford a better tattoo artist than I am, has a better personal trainer and considerably more free time to work out, is “lucky” to score gigs on national T.V. like “The Voice,” while yours truly is relegated to the role of lawyer in a rather nondescript, 10’ x 10’ office at Seipp, Flick & Hosley – and then, of course, there’s the SMALL fact that he gets the chance to show off his voice in front of thousands of adoring fans as the lead singer of Maroon 5, while “this guy” (thankfully!!) sings mostly in the shower!  But then it occurred to me: Not only had I not been selected for the “gold medal,” I hadn’t even made “The List” of the top 50!  What’s up with that?  What’s up is that the editors never even took the time to contact me, let alone get to know me.  If they had, it would’ve been a no-brainer.  I’d be on that damn list, if not at the top of it! 

At least that’s my story and I’m sticking to it. For now, however, I’ll just have to take comfort in knowing I can write circles around Levine just about any day of the week and from where I’m standing, squarely in front of that mirror I talked about earlier, that makes me just sexy enough!

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