547 square feet …
the emptiest of nests.
Room enough
for a bed to sleep in,
a small love(less) seat to collapse on at the end of another too long day,
a TV for the occasional binge watch,
a tiny kitchen to cook a simple meal,
a shower,
a closet barely built for one,
and a small desk for writing – lots of writing.
1 year …
that seemed like eternity.
Time enough
to catch your breath,
to start from scratch,
to find and then piece a broken “you” back together one misshapen shard at a time,
to take an honest inventory,
to shed a tear or two (thousand) at what you see,
to glimpse an occasional sunrise,
to surrender to the true longing of your heart
to learn to be love – and (finally) let love in.
Sometimes we need to go back to the scene of the crime – to the wounds, the scars, the pain – with the eyes of an Overcomer.
Not for the purpose of heaping more hurt on ourselves, but to appreciate
how far we’ve come,
how much resilience, courage and perseverance it took to get here,
how radically different the light is from the darkness and we are from the person who was at the beginning of the journey,
the non-linear and inescapably individual nature of all paths to recovery,
to remember all the times the sun did come up, despite our Inner Bully’s relentless insistence that we were undeserving of its warm invitation to begin again,
to be awash in gratitude for those who refused to give up on us in our darkest hours,
who, time and time again, offered outstretched (non-judgmental) hearts and hands to help us up when we slipped (or fell),
who held loneliness at bay, when we were certain it would overwhelm us,
and, if you’re a person of faith, to see God’s hand, faithfulness, and steadfast love at work in it – ALL of it.
Make no mistake: Life is hard and it’s way harder for some (and in some seasons) than others.
But, if you stay with it long enough – if you keep your heart (wide) open – chances are you’ll find Life’s fullness (or its fullness will find you) and yours will never be the same again.
donblackwell 